And the real shows are....

Show 1: REAL
This show is currently in production and it's called My Fair Lady. The premise is that Donald Trump (of all people) is going to be the arbiter of taste and class for the tramps. I'm undecided as to whether or not that is as confusing an idea as having Kathy Hilton act as role model for class.
Fifteen women who "party hard" (they party hard but are NOT Flava of Love contestants) are sent to live in a boarding school-like environment where they will learn about self-improvement and female-empowerment to turn from tramps to ladies.

Show 2: REAL
This show is supposedly in production, and I hope to God it's true because I would definitely watch this show. I'd have to stop watching, though, if the kids never actually changed and were just like Nicole & Paris on the Simple Life.
Former stars of My Super Sweet Sixteen are sent to live with indigenous tribes in faraway countries.

Show 3: FAKE
Six prisoners at a minimum security prison agree to be placed in solitary confinement and undergo mental and physical challenges in an attempt to win $150,000.

Show 4: REAL
This show was called Who's your daddy? and aired (surprise!) on Fox.
An adopted woman is introduced to eight men who may or may not be her biological father. The girl must correctly choose her father to win a $100,000 prize.

Show 5: REAL
This show is called Celebra Cadabra, and was the inspiration for this entire post. When I saw the first episode I was so confused as to why it would exist that I actually had to look up the show online to make sure it wasn't just some kind of prank.
Seven celebrities team with seven professional magicians and compete in magical challenges. The winning team wins $100,000.

Show 6: FAKE
Ten celebrities learn the tricks of the paparazzi trade and attempt to take the best shot each week. The celebrity who survives the competition wins $250,000.

Show 7: REAL
This was a British show, but it was featured on some Vh1 clip show. It was called There's something about Miriam, and the more I consider each show's premise the more I become convinced that this is the most despicable show. However, it is not the most potentially boring; that honor is reserved for Celebra Cadabra, which despite my aversion have managed to see 3 times already.
A group of men compete for the heart of a woman in a Bachelorette-esque dating show. Unbeknownst to the men, the object of their affections is a post-operative transexual who has only recently become a woman.