Tuloy po kayo

Yahoo headlines dazzled again over the weekend with this awesome headline: 3,738 Mothers Set Breast-Feeding Record Obvi, I clicked the link and was delighted to find that my people, Filipinos, are the ones who can lay claim to a stunt encouraging the beautiful and natural act of mass breast-feeding. And it made me so proud. Then it occurred to me that I probably should have written a blog in April, the designated month to appreciate Asians, to spread the good word on Filipinos. I figure May is close enough since I'm only a quarter Asian. Without further ado (after all I'm not getting any more Asian) here are some important things you should know about Filipinos.


First things first, how to spot a Filipino American.
Filipino Americans are very notable in their above-average attractiveness. Take, for example, Vanessa Minillo Miss Teen USA 1998 and current MTV veejay/girlfriend to Derek Jeter or Nick Lachey.

Though a Filipino's beauty is pretty good give away, there are some outliers. After all, Rob Schneider is part Filipino. Last names are a more reliable indicator that someone is indeed Filipino. If you meet a person of obvious Asian descent yet they mysteriously have a Hispanic name, chances are good that they are Filipino. Take the quiz below to see if you can accurately guess which of the women shown is actually Filipino:











Now that you know how to spot a Pinoy, you are no doubt intimidated by their superiority to you in almost every way (except height). Have no fear,the followinng pictures will assure you that Filipinos are every bit as humble and down to Earth as the rest of us.

Filipinos -- they're just like us!

They play professional sports!



They're Prince! Actually that's a lie. I'm almost positive that Prince is not Filipino, but this website told me he was --twice. And who I am to combat a dubious website listing?







They have debilitating genetic disorders that stunt their growth!










They portray teenagers in movies despite being over 30 years old!



They served on the Takoma Park city council from 1995-1999!









They peaked in the nineties!




They have ugly moles and somewhat attractive girlfriends!













They ice skate!


















And with that, consider yourself educated on the wonderful world of Filipinos. Walang anuman. Don't fret if you don't understand them thar words, I certainly don't. I just went to this website and found a few Tagalog phrases that I most probably inappropriately used. Final Flip Fun Fact: Tagalog is prononced tuh-gahlic so don't go thinking it's a Girl Scout cookie.

Brenda Frese: Great Coach, Mediocre Clapper

We are the champions, no time for losers cause we are the champions... of the world NCAA women's basketball! What a great game -- those of you out there who think that watching women's basketball isn't interesting then you missed a hell of a game between Duke and Maryland tonight. I'd admonish you for your close-mindedness and addiction to dunking, but I think that you (like UCLA) were punished enough by that lame-ass excuse for a game that was played last night. This game was exciting, you would have barely noticed the lack of penises. And thanks to Duke's strong tradition of talented, yet manly players, you probably would have forgotten their players even have breasts.

In case you missed it, let me fill you in with an approximation of what you missed:

Duke has some butch-y players and they lead for a lot of the game. This is a picture of a giantess who dominated the boards for much of the night (but I mean is that saying much? she's 6'7" all she has to do is put her hands up). She misses some free throws later, which I'd mock her for if I wasn't afraid she'd somehow find me and gnaw my bones.


During the second half, Maryland's cuter, younger players decide to show those bulls what's what. Crystal Langhorne, for one, says "I don't think so bitches, I'm not losing this game."


Despite the fact that a Duke player almost rips off her arm, Shay Doron continues her awesomicity.


Toliver is the s*** and forces an overtime. Did I mention she's only a freshman?


Maryland wins, Coleman rejoices.


Duke cries.


Maryland burns.



So here's to the Lady Terps -- the winningest basketball team (women OR men) in the history of Maryland. Sidenote: if you are an attractive young woman (with an open and a bi-curious mind) who had previously been going after the men's team -- I suggest you switch and start going after the women's team. First off, both teams are similar in that they both like to play basketball and have sex with women. Secondly, both teams are equally unlikely to make big bucks after college playing professional ball, but if you go after a woman player at least you'd be sleeping with a winner.