Television is my life partner. It has been one of my nearest and dearest friends for as long as I can remember. It has taught me how to interact with my peers (see My so-called life in 6th grade); how to dance (the Grind in middle school); how to craft (TLC day time television in the 10th grade) and helped me learn (see my addiction to the Discovery channel in high school, and my fascination with 3-2-1 Contact in 4th and 5th grade). Television has also taught me the difference between right and wrong (Homicide, Law & Order)and, more importantly, the difference between funny (Golden Girls; Cheers) and unfunny (most shows that come on NBC at 8:30 on Thursday). More recently it has taught me how not to act like a single moron (Sex and the city) and how to kill and dispose of mob snitches (The Sopranos). Of course, my faithful attention to the morning and evening broadcasts of News4 also keep me informed (Bobbie, I expect my check/offer to be in a News4 ad is in the mail?).
Television is the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I see in the morning. I turn it on immediately upon walking through the door when I get home from work, and when I'm the only one home it makes great company. I know that if you were a first-grader (or Mike or Leah) you'd probably be thinking to yourself, 'Well if you love television so much, why don't you marry it?!' And to that I say, I would in a heartbeat if I thought I could be the good wife that television deserves.
All week long, every time I've mentioned to people that I'm trying to refrain from watching television the general response has been an aghast "Why?!" Yeah, I don't know either. TV, I love you and can't wait till I get to see you again. I'll never, ever leave you like that again.
Showing posts with label Lent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lent. Show all posts
Monday, April 10, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
And so it begins...
Thanks for all the suggestions, here's my plan of action:
April 5-April 12: No television.
April 12-April 19: Try three new things every day.
April 19-April 26: Walk practically everywhere I go.
April 26-May 3: Be super vain.*
May 3-May 10: No negativity towards other people.
*You may notice that "be super vain" seems to be the complete opposite of not looking in a mirror, and indeed it is. I made that change because I realized that there would be no lesson learned by my refusal to look in a mirror for a week. Since I really don't try as hard as I should to look presentable, I figured it would be in my better interest (and probably in the interest of those who have to see me every day) if I would try and put more time in my appearance not less.
I choose to reject Jonah's interesting suggestion that I stay silent for 36 hours because there's a compelling reason that I may have to (or want to) talk to someone for every weekend from now till July. Also, "date a Gary" is not on my schedule, but I will point out that's because I have never met a Gary in real life. Sure I saw Gary Williams drop off his dry-cleaning, but it's not quite the same. I'll keep you all updated as to how this experiment is going. Any bets on what will be the most difficult? I'm on day two of "no tv" and from what I can tell it's only slightly less grueling than heroin withdrawal.
April 5-April 12: No television.
April 12-April 19: Try three new things every day.
April 19-April 26: Walk practically everywhere I go.
April 26-May 3: Be super vain.*
May 3-May 10: No negativity towards other people.
*You may notice that "be super vain" seems to be the complete opposite of not looking in a mirror, and indeed it is. I made that change because I realized that there would be no lesson learned by my refusal to look in a mirror for a week. Since I really don't try as hard as I should to look presentable, I figured it would be in my better interest (and probably in the interest of those who have to see me every day) if I would try and put more time in my appearance not less.
I choose to reject Jonah's interesting suggestion that I stay silent for 36 hours because there's a compelling reason that I may have to (or want to) talk to someone for every weekend from now till July. Also, "date a Gary" is not on my schedule, but I will point out that's because I have never met a Gary in real life. Sure I saw Gary Williams drop off his dry-cleaning, but it's not quite the same. I'll keep you all updated as to how this experiment is going. Any bets on what will be the most difficult? I'm on day two of "no tv" and from what I can tell it's only slightly less grueling than heroin withdrawal.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Update on Lent
Though I'm still up for suggestions for this experiment, here is what I think I'm going to be doing:
1) No TV for one week
Conditions: I will not watch TV (or DVDs on my TV or TV show clips on the internet) for 7 straight days. Ouch, even writing those words makes me cringe.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Lost, movies on my Netflix que, Daily Show and Stephen Colbert
Exeptions I'll allow myself: World-altering news stories that are best covered live on TV(e.g. alien invastion)
Predictions: Television is my best friend. It's always there for me. This is going to be like separating conjoined twins.
2) Going to sleep by 11:30pm every week day , and 1 am on the weekend.
Conditions: I will be in bed attempting to fall asleep by 11:30 Monday through Friday, and by 1 am on Saturday and Sunday.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Conan O'Brien; bar specials
Exeptions I'll allow myself: Incarceration?
Predictions: This experiment will make me well-rested and boring, but at least I won't be so jittery all the time. I think I'll probably miss out on a lot of fun at some point at time -- so nobody rub it in! I probably won't write any blogs either.
3) No looking in a mirror.
Conditions: I will not allow myself to look at my image in a mirror for 7 straight days. I will also try to avoid reflective surfaces (windows, computer screens).
Exceptions I'd like to take: Using a mirror to make sure I don't have food on my clothes, because I'm a very messy eater.
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Using a compact mirror for flossing.
Predictions: The hope here is that I will break myself of the habit of looking in mirrors whenever I see my reflection in one. In reality it's probably going to make me more vain as I am going to be so gross at the end of this. I think that I will probably walk around for long expanses of time with shmutz on my face or alternatively just compulsively wipe my face all week long. At the end of this week I'll probably go on a 3-hour make up and eyebrow plucking binge.
4) No talking for 36 hours.
Conditions: I will not engage in conversation with another person for 36 straight hours. While on the street, I will allow myself to exchange pleasantries (Hello, excuse me, sorry) if the situation calls for it. Writing notes and playing charades to convey a message may be necessary in very rare instances (e.g. telling a roommate that their toothbrush fell in the toilet.)
Exceptions I'd like to take: Any! Not talking is akin to not breathing for me
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Medical and criminal emergencies.
Predictions: I think I'm probably going to end up sleeping through much of this because it will just be easier. Maybe also I'll paint my room and spend 5 hours playing spider solitaire.
5) Walking everywhere -- make that most places.
Conditions: I will not use my car at all for one week. I will allow myself to use public transportation 10 times during the week (which should only cover me to and from work). Also, I will walk up all escalators and always take the stairs.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Blisters, achilles tendon pain, rainy weather
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Hail; medical and criminal emergencies Predictions: So this is just a continuation of Matt's suggestion that I take the stairs. I think that I may or may not turn into Phil Barber during this week, but at least I'll save money on gas. Take that you gas-guzzling, foreign-oil-loving suckers! Maybe if I luck out and choose a nice week I'll get to enjoy the weather, too.
I decided to shelve the suggestions to avoid vitamin C, to stop lying, and to eat healthfully for a week because I don't want scurvy, I love lying and because I do what I want. I'm still on the fence about another of Matt's suggestions, so here's my proposal -- let me know what you think of it:
6) Refrain from making negative statements about people for one week.
Conditions: I will not complain about or otherwise mock another person's faults and foibles -- especially celebrities.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Celebrities; people on the metro; select coworkers or roommates; children
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Expressing a negative opinion about an object/thing (e.g. I hate that movie.). The opinion cannot contain any sort of negative sentiment about a specific individual, so the statement "Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas makes the already annoying song "My humps" unbearable with her disgustingly nasal voice" would be a violation despite being completely correct.
Predictions: On the one hand I may become a less vitriolic person, and may be much nicer. On the other hand I will have very little to say and certainly will be less interesting to talk to. That is the core of my dilemma as to whether or not I should take on this challenge. If I do, I predict that at the end of the week I will explode in an hours-long fit of mockery of everyone and thing I see: look at that dog -- yeah right! you call that a car?! the jerk store called and they're all out of you!
So let me know what you think -- but don't overwhelm me all at once. The literal avalanche of comments to the original post was a bit much to try and deal with, so please people take it easy on the comments to this blog. (In case you didn't know I was being sarcastic).
1) No TV for one week
Conditions: I will not watch TV (or DVDs on my TV or TV show clips on the internet) for 7 straight days. Ouch, even writing those words makes me cringe.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Lost, movies on my Netflix que, Daily Show and Stephen Colbert
Exeptions I'll allow myself: World-altering news stories that are best covered live on TV(e.g. alien invastion)
Predictions: Television is my best friend. It's always there for me. This is going to be like separating conjoined twins.
2) Going to sleep by 11:30pm every week day , and 1 am on the weekend.
Conditions: I will be in bed attempting to fall asleep by 11:30 Monday through Friday, and by 1 am on Saturday and Sunday.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Conan O'Brien; bar specials
Exeptions I'll allow myself: Incarceration?
Predictions: This experiment will make me well-rested and boring, but at least I won't be so jittery all the time. I think I'll probably miss out on a lot of fun at some point at time -- so nobody rub it in! I probably won't write any blogs either.
3) No looking in a mirror.
Conditions: I will not allow myself to look at my image in a mirror for 7 straight days. I will also try to avoid reflective surfaces (windows, computer screens).
Exceptions I'd like to take: Using a mirror to make sure I don't have food on my clothes, because I'm a very messy eater.
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Using a compact mirror for flossing.
Predictions: The hope here is that I will break myself of the habit of looking in mirrors whenever I see my reflection in one. In reality it's probably going to make me more vain as I am going to be so gross at the end of this. I think that I will probably walk around for long expanses of time with shmutz on my face or alternatively just compulsively wipe my face all week long. At the end of this week I'll probably go on a 3-hour make up and eyebrow plucking binge.
4) No talking for 36 hours.
Conditions: I will not engage in conversation with another person for 36 straight hours. While on the street, I will allow myself to exchange pleasantries (Hello, excuse me, sorry) if the situation calls for it. Writing notes and playing charades to convey a message may be necessary in very rare instances (e.g. telling a roommate that their toothbrush fell in the toilet.)
Exceptions I'd like to take: Any! Not talking is akin to not breathing for me
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Medical and criminal emergencies.
Predictions: I think I'm probably going to end up sleeping through much of this because it will just be easier. Maybe also I'll paint my room and spend 5 hours playing spider solitaire.
5) Walking everywhere -- make that most places.
Conditions: I will not use my car at all for one week. I will allow myself to use public transportation 10 times during the week (which should only cover me to and from work). Also, I will walk up all escalators and always take the stairs.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Blisters, achilles tendon pain, rainy weather
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Hail; medical and criminal emergencies Predictions: So this is just a continuation of Matt's suggestion that I take the stairs. I think that I may or may not turn into Phil Barber during this week, but at least I'll save money on gas. Take that you gas-guzzling, foreign-oil-loving suckers! Maybe if I luck out and choose a nice week I'll get to enjoy the weather, too.
I decided to shelve the suggestions to avoid vitamin C, to stop lying, and to eat healthfully for a week because I don't want scurvy, I love lying and because I do what I want. I'm still on the fence about another of Matt's suggestions, so here's my proposal -- let me know what you think of it:
6) Refrain from making negative statements about people for one week.
Conditions: I will not complain about or otherwise mock another person's faults and foibles -- especially celebrities.
Exceptions I'd like to take: Celebrities; people on the metro; select coworkers or roommates; children
Exceptions I'll allow myself: Expressing a negative opinion about an object/thing (e.g. I hate that movie.). The opinion cannot contain any sort of negative sentiment about a specific individual, so the statement "Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas makes the already annoying song "My humps" unbearable with her disgustingly nasal voice" would be a violation despite being completely correct.
Predictions: On the one hand I may become a less vitriolic person, and may be much nicer. On the other hand I will have very little to say and certainly will be less interesting to talk to. That is the core of my dilemma as to whether or not I should take on this challenge. If I do, I predict that at the end of the week I will explode in an hours-long fit of mockery of everyone and thing I see: look at that dog -- yeah right! you call that a car?! the jerk store called and they're all out of you!
So let me know what you think -- but don't overwhelm me all at once. The literal avalanche of comments to the original post was a bit much to try and deal with, so please people take it easy on the comments to this blog. (In case you didn't know I was being sarcastic).
Monday, March 13, 2006
Lenten Celebration
So technically Lent began almost 2 weeks ago, but since I generally take a better-late-than-never approach to life I figured why not start now? The problem is that 40 days is kind of a long time and I'm not that into Christ, so this will be more like a series of short sacrifices -- essentially a weekly test of my will power. The catch is this: I want you all (meaning my friends who read this + my dad) to help me come up with a list of 5-6 things that I should give up for one to two weeks at a time. I think that it makes more sense for someone else to choose my sacrifice because otherwise I'd just choose something really easy, like stop brushing my hair. Here is the list that my roommates and Matt's Buddhist roommate have suggested:
1) No TV
2) No fatty/sugary food & eating 9 fruits and vegetables each day
3) No lying (This one clearly isn't an option because the Buddhist insisted that sarcasm was a form of lying, and I can't give up sarcasm as I've forgotten how to be sincere)
4) Going to sleep by 11:30pm every week day , and 1 am on the weekend.
Before you start throwing suggestions my way, please keep the following things in mind:
1) The sacrifice or challenge should be something that actually would be difficult for me to do (like no TV for seven whole days, which may actually kill me).
2) The sacrifice or challenge should not cost more than $75 to accomplish -- I'm not made out of money here.
3) The sacrifice or challenge should be something that I can finish in no more than 2 weeks (so no challenges to do something physical for which I'd need longer than 2 weeks of training to accomplish).
4) If I fail to accomplish the sacrifice or challenge you suggested, you don't get anything. Rather, you get the satisfaction of knowing that you broke my will and have left me a pathetic shell of a person.
I was inspired to embark upon this little experiment when I heard a story about a priest who let his friends choose his Lenten sacrifice, which gave me the idea for asking for my friends' input. I was also inspired by MTV's True Life: I'm a competitive eater, which combined with my renewed interest in shotgunning beers, has inspired me to push the logical limits of my body and willpower. So get crackin' on those suggestions so that I can start this experiment by April.
1) No TV
2) No fatty/sugary food & eating 9 fruits and vegetables each day
3) No lying (This one clearly isn't an option because the Buddhist insisted that sarcasm was a form of lying, and I can't give up sarcasm as I've forgotten how to be sincere)
4) Going to sleep by 11:30pm every week day , and 1 am on the weekend.
Before you start throwing suggestions my way, please keep the following things in mind:
1) The sacrifice or challenge should be something that actually would be difficult for me to do (like no TV for seven whole days, which may actually kill me).
2) The sacrifice or challenge should not cost more than $75 to accomplish -- I'm not made out of money here.
3) The sacrifice or challenge should be something that I can finish in no more than 2 weeks (so no challenges to do something physical for which I'd need longer than 2 weeks of training to accomplish).
4) If I fail to accomplish the sacrifice or challenge you suggested, you don't get anything. Rather, you get the satisfaction of knowing that you broke my will and have left me a pathetic shell of a person.
I was inspired to embark upon this little experiment when I heard a story about a priest who let his friends choose his Lenten sacrifice, which gave me the idea for asking for my friends' input. I was also inspired by MTV's True Life: I'm a competitive eater, which combined with my renewed interest in shotgunning beers, has inspired me to push the logical limits of my body and willpower. So get crackin' on those suggestions so that I can start this experiment by April.
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