They should probably switch dream jobs

Child 1: I want to be a soldier so I can help people.

Child 2: I want to be a police officer, and if a bad guys won't listen to me I will shoot them.

Prophesies and Pancakes

Two weird quotes from two weird kids:

Quote 1 from a conversation (more a monologue) with a little girl during recess.
"I found this ball. It's fun! And my mom gave me pancakes this morning. And she did buttah on them. IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!" (You have to imagine a little girl holding a ball that's almost bigger than her. And the statement in all caps was shouted in the manner of a muppet. Also, she wouldn't let me respond before running away.)


Quote 2, proffered by a little boy in the middle of my social studies lesson on needs and wants and healthy eating.
"Shoot, who cares if you eat healthy. We're all going to die! We're all going to die when Jesus comes."

Finally, Something Funny Happened

Scene:
3:45, afternoon dismissal line on the blacktop.
female student in pigtails: "My mom told me tadpoles go here!" [grabs crotch]
teacher: "What??"
female student in pigtails: "My mom said tadpoles go in here!!" [repeat crotch grab]
Stunned teacher thinks about what the hell this could mean while trying to maintain her composure. Why would a mother tell her daughter that frogs go inside vaginas??
teacher:"Ohhhh. Did your mom tell you where babies come from?"
female student in pigtails: "YES!" (smiles then clasps hand over mouth)
teacher: "Okay, great. Keep that to yourself."

The F Word

Six year olds are sponges for knowledge. Some times (most times?) the knowledge they absorb is of a questionable nature. Exhibit A: One of my young pupils has learned the F word. In her excitement over knowing such an illicit phrase, she likes to write this word whenever she's given a chance. I can only assume that the F word that she has learned is F*ck, but it's hard to tell since all she ever writes is FNK. I don't know what bothers me more: either the fact that this kid wants to write the F word all over the place, or that she continuously fails to sound the word out correctly as I have taught her to do when she wants to write a word she doesn't know how to spell. Next time someone gets out of their seat to tell me about this little girl writing the F word, I had better see a U after the F.

My Favorite Subject

Today we administered surveys asking students to answer questions about themselves. We asked students about their favorite school subject. One student answered that his favorite subject was, "School breakfast. They feed us burritos and yogurt." Who doesn't love the burrito-yogurt combo? Maybe I'll try some when I get up in 4 hours.