Substitute bamma

I took my first ever sick day on Tuesday because I needed a break. It was pretty stressful because I spent a lot of time meticulously preparing a substitute packet that included my classroom rules and procedures, lesson plans for each of the 6 content areas my children study, and all the materials necessary to execute those plans. I was at school until 8 pm on Monday getting all of these things ready for the substitute the next day.

The woman who subbed for me yesterday is a retired teacher who is scary as all hell. She is 5'3", has short, blonde hair that sticks up in odd points all around her head and thick cataracts that make her eyes look blue. She looks like a witch and she is mean. She hangs around the school going to classrooms and scaring children into submission by berating them (which you should note is completely different than making them cry). I told her all about the plans I left for her, and she told me she'd teach them.

Today when I got to school I found all of my careful plans and materials completely untouched. The students workbooks were empty, and the homework I had prepared had not been distributed. I have no idea what the hell that teacher taught yesterday but I could rip her eyes out for not teaching what I left for her. What the fuck is the point of having someone stand in your place if they won't even do what you've left for them to do? I asked around and heard that the sub definitely had my kids "in check" (meaning she screamed at them a lot). I might as well have told all the kids not to come to school yesterday if all they were going to do was get yelled at by some crazy witch woman.

That's why Ms. Patterson is the bamma of the week. She pretty much ruined my day off because I had to spend so much time the day before preparing for it, and I even spent a lot of time planning my lessons for today. I'd post a picture of her here but I wouldn't want to scare you. Just imagine a 75 year old black woman with Lisa Simpson's hair cut and no soul.