Just passing the time

A combination of having little to do at work, and having no television to watch at home has left me with some time to ponder and enjoy some of the finer things in life: junk e-mail, 80s movies, Flavor of Love, and early 90s R&B. You know, pretty much the creme de la creme of American culture.

Best fake email names
Junk e-mail gets sent to my work e-mail account every day and the fake names have just been a complete joy to read. The following names are a sampling of my faves, most of which sound like the names of Harry Potter characters:
Saturninus Scutt
Dmiter Cooter
Athanasios Bedsole
Aspasia Wayman
Polydeukes Huddle
Ginevra Pagan
If you guessed that the name "Dmiter Cooter" made me laugh out loud, then you are right.


Best 80s movie genres
The following are outstanding plot lines from some of the best movies of a classic era. I can't wait till I can start watching TV again, because a lot of these movies can be found on AMC:
* Andrew McCarthy forms an inappropriate relationship with an inanimate being (see Weekend at Bernie's I-II; Mannequin)


* Children and youth apply kid-logic & ethics to the business world and make a splash in their chosen profession (see Big; Don't tell mom the babysitter's dead)
* Richard Pryor gets money to do something (see The Toy; Brewster's Millions)


Mysteries of Flavor of Love
This show may be over, but the confusion it has caused me unfortunately continues. If only I could watch TV to see the reunion!! Here are the burning questions that are bothering me:
1) Is being on TV really so important that a person would become physically intimate with Flava Flav?


2) What would someone have to offer you to make you want to have sex, or even kiss, Flava Flav? My answer is a bribe that includes a 9-figure check, a panda and a new set of teeth (for me AND him).
3) I think these women are pretty good at acting as many convincingly feigned interest in the hip-hop hobbit, so how come they haven't been cast in more films or TV shows? You know they'd probably do soft-core porn as most of them fullfill the three main requirements: a comfort with wearing very little clothing, having little to no dignity, and having an unabiding desire to be on camera.
4) How did Smilie get enough time off from her job (which I presume must be pole-dancing) to appear on the show?
5) Does Pumkin really make $60,000 a year as her Myspace page would have us believe?


6) Finally, do you think that New York (aka the girl who reminds me of Melanie, though New York is slightly less sane) feels pretty smug now given that she was right about Pumkin being a lesbian? Do you think she is also right about Hoopz?


Best R&B girl groups of the early nineties:
1) En Vogue (hands down winners)
2) SWV
3) Jade
Now I know what you're thinking -- that I'm giving too much credit to Jade and unfairly discounting Brownstone, who also could have made this list. Well you're wrong. I rollerskated to "Don't walk away boy" a hundred times and that song is my jam. And it'd be your jam too if you knew what was what. Plus Jade's album is called "Jade to the max" and they are all wearing bustier tops with high waisted jeans -- you don't get more '93 than that.