I am bereft

Television is my life partner. It has been one of my nearest and dearest friends for as long as I can remember. It has taught me how to interact with my peers (see My so-called life in 6th grade); how to dance (the Grind in middle school); how to craft (TLC day time television in the 10th grade) and helped me learn (see my addiction to the Discovery channel in high school, and my fascination with 3-2-1 Contact in 4th and 5th grade). Television has also taught me the difference between right and wrong (Homicide, Law & Order)and, more importantly, the difference between funny (Golden Girls; Cheers) and unfunny (most shows that come on NBC at 8:30 on Thursday). More recently it has taught me how not to act like a single moron (Sex and the city) and how to kill and dispose of mob snitches (The Sopranos). Of course, my faithful attention to the morning and evening broadcasts of News4 also keep me informed (Bobbie, I expect my check/offer to be in a News4 ad is in the mail?).

Television is the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I see in the morning. I turn it on immediately upon walking through the door when I get home from work, and when I'm the only one home it makes great company. I know that if you were a first-grader (or Mike or Leah) you'd probably be thinking to yourself, 'Well if you love television so much, why don't you marry it?!' And to that I say, I would in a heartbeat if I thought I could be the good wife that television deserves.

All week long, every time I've mentioned to people that I'm trying to refrain from watching television the general response has been an aghast "Why?!" Yeah, I don't know either. TV, I love you and can't wait till I get to see you again. I'll never, ever leave you like that again.