Let's not call it the end, let's just call it a "hiatus"

The countdown to July first has come and gone, so I can finally tell you the momentous news that will change not only my life, but yours as well. That news? I'm going to quit blogging. No doubt your entire world has been turned upside down with this news. But hopefully you will be able to survive, since I had warned many of you in advance and because it is just a dumb website.

I originally began this blog as a way to keep in touch with my far-flung friends that I couldn't talk to as often as I liked. But recently a few things occurred to me:
1) I don't really write anything about myself or what's going on in my life on this blog. Yet, I have no desire to begin writing things about myself because I think it'd be creepy for strangers to know anything about me. So how the hell is anyone supposed to know what I'm doing with my life beyond knowing what tv shows I watch? Granted tv is my life partner, but I do occasionally do things apart from it.
2) With the amount of time I spend writing blogs, I could probably have a thirty minute conversation with each of my friends each week. And unfortunately, since I rarely (if ever) write blogs at work, most of this time came straight out of time that could have been otherwise spent socializing, or, more often, sleeping. It might be particularly shocking for some of you to find out I spend a good amount of time working on this blog given the high number of typos found within. And yet, I do proof-read. Go figure.

So I know you must be wondering, "But how will I spend the thirty seconds once a week I used to spend reading your blog?"
Not to worry, I've got you covered with a handy list of suggestions found below:
1) Enter a beauty pageant. Don't waste time on your "talent," just buy a push up bra.
2) Move to Woodbridge. For free!
3) Become Filipino.
4) Google the phrase "Cheese it the Fuzz" and click on my blog so that it can once again be the first site that pops up when you're looking for that phrase. This is a pretty imperative task people.
5) Celebrate March year round by re-treading all your decorations for youth art month, athletic trainer month, social worker month, youth voter month and small press month.
6) Find out why scientists are cool.
7) Have fun with paintbrush graphics. The more pink spray-paint you use, the better the "graphic" will be. The graphic I made for this post was my personal favorite.
8) Start a jihad against Coldstone Creamery. Those bastards will pay for jipping me out of my free birthday ice cream.
9) Read another blog. The list at right is a good start.
10) Practice safe sex and say no to babies-- particularly ugly ones!
11) Make ridiculous predictions about the end of the world and the coming year.
12) Check back here periodically because once every few weeks I will probably cave and rant about something ridiculous. Seriously, it may be difficult to quit now that there is less than one week till Project Runway!! Heidi's already gotten knocked up again in honor of the show.