Oh the humanity

I've often thought that it is man's ability to create artwork that separates him from the apes. We write, sing, draw, paint, sculpt, and all monkeys can do is use sticks as tools and fight or have sex with each other. Oh and also they like to throw their own feces. But enough of my ape-condescenion, for I can be haughty no more when visiting the zoo's ape house. Not since any of these "art" projects surfaced anyway. I've since realized that sometimes, art is just the human race's take on flinging poo:

Exhibit A: the song "I'm in love with a stripper" by T-Pain. Imagine if a man with an annoying nasally voice decided to write a song over a karaoke beat. Now imagine that the entire point of this song is that he wants to have sex with a stripper. When I first heard the hook for T-Pain's "love song" to a stripper I thought it had great camp potential (a la any song ever written by R-Kelly), but alas T-Pain isn't quite that clever. He's so dumb in fact that he seems to think that being "in love with" a stripper is the same thing as "going to have sex repeatedly with" a stripper. Come on T-Pain, what are you a 19 year old girl? Sex does not equal love. Especially when it's between a rapper and a stripper. It's almost enough to make you long for the smart lyrics of the BEP as sung by the soothing voice of Fergie.

Exhibit B: statue of Britney Spears giving birth
What you see below is the profile of a statue in which a pregnant Britney Spears stretches seductively on all fours on a bear skin rug. What you don't see is that little Sean Preston can be seen crowning from the rear view of the statue.
Am I the only one who thinks this statue makes Brit seem like a cow? I mean, people don't give birth on all fours -- that's a barnyard animal thing. I think that's the sculptor's intent: to mock Britney spears for her trashy upbringing. Oh wait, what's that you say? It's supposed to be part of an anti-abortion display? Oh, well that would've been my second guess.

Exhibit C: Paris Hilton is going to be cast as Mother Teresa in a new Indian movie. This is not new news, and has been a story circulating for a while now. I'm guessing that this director thought, 'I know what will get my movie tons of press! I'll ask well-known skank to portray a well-known saint.!' Right on that count, but what this director doesn't know is that Paris is actually a good choice because Mother Teresa shared the same interests as Paris. I swear to God, MT's interests were helping the poor, praying, and video taping herself having sex. Sure it was a distant third compared to her other hobbies, but it still makes the list. Also, MT was heard to end her prayers with 'That's hot' rather than 'Amen.' Despite all the eery similarities, I don't think that Paris will really take the part. If only because Paris doesn't strike me as the sort of person who'd ever want to appear in makeup that would make her look ugly and old. Maybe also because the nun's habit would melt off her body, the way the nazi symbol melted off the crate holding the ark in Indiana Jones.