Bamma of the Week

Though normally I find morning commute radio shows to be evidence that there is evil on Earth, I do enjoy the Donnie Simpson show on WPGC 95.5. Huggy Lowdown is definitely the best part of the show. Mr. Lowdown, amongst many other bits, gives a weekly award to the "Bamma of the Week." Since I'm moving and will no longer be able to hear Huggy's weekly award, I thought I should give out my own weekly Bamma award. For those of you unfamiliar with the word "bamma", let me enlighten you. A bamma is a classless fool who is generally ignorant of their obvious failings. Also, it's anyone (or anything) who pisses me off.

So, with that in mind, I would like to award the inaugural "Bamma of the Week." Early in the week I thought I might be giving this ignominious honor to the highest bidder for the post-jail Paris Hilton interview. Once those deals fell through, my week was looking suprisingly Bamma-less. But then on Friday night, a new contender came out of no where to run away with the win. This contender is none other than the Anonymous Jerkface who threw up in the Union Station metro on Friday night.

I have no idea who Anonymous Jerkface is -- the only evidence I have that they even existed is the slippery puddle of vomit they deposited on the Union Station metro floor. Man or woman, child or adult, this Anonymous Jerkface wins my "Bamma of the Week" award because I slipped and fell in their puke. That's right, I got covered in someone else's puke. In case you've never taken in a spill in throw up, let me assure you that such an experience iis neither a fun end to an evening, nor an enjoyable prelude to a ride on public transit. I firmly believe that I wouldn't have fallen were it not for Anon. Jerkface's puke, and I'm damn sure I wouldn't have been soaked with half-digested food if Anon. Jerkface had managed to get to a trash can before hurling. In conclusion, Anon. Jerkface is the Bamma of the Week for not being able to responsibly monitor either their alcohol intake or their barf output. I've pasted below a picture of what I imagine the Jerkface looked like: