Andrae from Project Runway is my fave, because we both have little control over our own facial expressions. His problem may be a bit more serious since it happens while he's sober and on tv, and mine only afflicts me when I'm drunk and near digital cameras.
Having a tv quote about love in your aim profile is worse than popping your collar, but just as effective in letting people know that you're probably obnoxious.
Old people are hilarious, especially when they become too bored to live.
Watching MTV's tv show Sweet Sixteen will make the word "deserve" lose all meaning. Though it will put the pain of having to wait to get your Range Rover till after you get your license into perspective. Dry your eyes, sweet Ava!Beth from RW gauntlet should go Diddy-style and get a job as a spokesperson for pro-activ. My reasons for this are threefold: 1) She will fulfill her apparent dream of being on tv. 2) She will fulfill my dream that reality tv stars get some sort of job. 3) She will take care of her adult acne.
NEWSFLASH: College graduates are stupid! I am not suprised by this at all. After four years of listening to morons talk in class and having to work with them on group projects, I'm just glad that finally there is proof that many of my classmates were stupid. Before I just thought I was a condescending bitch, now I know I was just right all along.
I am also not suprised at all by the news that many Americans think that winning the lottery is the most practical way to gain wealth. I guess they weren't allowed to say that marrying up was the best way to gain wealth. If Anna Nicole Smith has taught me nothing, it is that if you want to be rich you better marry some rich dude.Upon further review, I dont' really think that Julia Roberts' performance in Erin Brokovich should have earned her an Oscar. Seriously, how does the woman who starred in Runaway Bride have an Oscar and Don Cheadle has nothing? Blasphemy!
Brokeback mountain was good, but not super good.
Certain quotes don't mean anything. Example: "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains." I don't care that Churchill said this, it's dumb. Besides, age isn't always a reliable indicator for someone's political leanings. A more accurate quote would be about someone's income, as in "Any man who makes less than $30,000 a year and is not a liberal is brainless; and any man who makes more than $300,000 a year and is not a conservative is a Hollywood actor."I hate MTV but can't stop watching it. It's the most unhealthy relationship I have in my life.
Putting someone's screen name in your aim profile is a blatant invitation for everyone else on your buddy list to begin stalking that person.
The ribbon magnets really piss me off. Not because of the message or because they are hideous, but because they are removable. If you care enough to pay money to stick something to your car you better make it permanent. That's why I've stolen some -- to teach people the importance of committing to a cause.
How is Oprah like the Wu Tang Clan?Because she ain't nuthin to f**k wit. Take that James Frey. I didn't see the show myself (as I generally refuse to watch her show) but the clips I've seen are pretty brutal. Just like Hermes and the beef industry learned, no one fucks with Oprah and gets away with it. No one.
3 comments:
I love this format, don't you? I'm thinking of doing it every week. Also, you are a very funny writer, I think me, you and Irina should team up. And, in regards the Oscars, I don't really think people earn them, the Academy is like a popularity contest.
You've inspired my newest entry.
Yeah, but Oprah flip-flopped a bit. At first she shrugged it off and said she didn't care, and supported Frey, and THEN in the face of extreme criticism she changed her stance.
That being said, that lady is fucking powerful. I wouldn't mess with her. She'd probably put a mob hit on me.
Post a Comment